Alexander and I were in the Canadian Rockies enjoying vast amounts of snow. Being a true Midwesterner I am not terribly bothered by skiing with cold snow blowing in my face. Especially if the snow is dry and wonderful.

Alexander, on the other hand is a true California boy (which means he wears shorts even in 40 degree weather) and finds blizzard conditions a little rough. We bought facemasks, under helmet head warmers and glove liners.

I worked this Christmas and was able to share in an incredibly beautiful and wonderful birth. It was simply that the stars seemed to perfectly align. And, it was Christmas morning.

The new parents were a lovely couple I admitted the previous day who didn’t mind a bit that their baby would be born on Christmas Day. Her doctor is one of my very favorite people and the birth was quiet and calm and all of us cried.

It made me recall another birth I was able to share in many years ago when I was working at an out-of-hospital birth center in Florida. It was a long labor and a challenging birth and she delivered at sunrise on Easter morning. I remember walking outside, exhausted, and sitting on the back steps of the house. The sky was a beautiful pink and the air was warm. I was struck by the magic and wonder of being privileged to share in the miracle of birth.

I felt the same gratitude this past Christmas morning. I wish us all a wonderful and peaceful 2012.

Today is Alexander’s 10th birthday. Double digits. Amazing. Unbelievable that a decade has passed. Unbelievable that he grew and birthed out of my body. Unbelievable that he is the spectacular human being that he is.

He was born on December 19, 2000 at 9:40pm, weighing in at 6 lbs. 12 oz and 19 ¼ inches long. He had a full head of dark blondish hair with these amazing little silver tips, as though it were frosted.

He was due on Christmas Eve, and on the 19th I was shopping for Christmas lights in our local drug store. I had, only a minute before, run into someone I hadn’t seen in a really long time. That day, I happened to be wearing a black, billowy maternity dress. A hideous dress actually. I really hated it and had never worn it before. But I felt so big and miserable that it just worked on that day.

For 15 years, I had told the women in my PillowTalk classes that the chance of their water bag breaking in public was really very small. Only about 10% of women actually even have their water bag break before labor starts.

As I was standing in the store aisle, I felt a little pinch, and suddenly, on the floor, was one of the largest puddles of amniotic fluid I had ever seen. Really. I stood there for a second, stunned, and then literally ran out of the store, laughing hysterically and dripping all the way out the door.

I called Ray from the car thinking he would think it was as funny as I did. Being very much not the doctor who had seen hundreds of births and instead, being very much the extremely nervous father, he found  little humor in it at all. There is a sweet photo of him standing outside the car holding my small suitcase with a sock hanging out of it. He could not even pack a suitcase he was so nervous, much less drive a car.

Thank God my wonderful friend, Chelan was there. Her instructions (from me) were to not allow me to go into the hospital until I was in very active labor. I was NOT going to go into my hospital, begging for mercy and not be dilated at all. The good news was that I was in booming labor and 4 cm. dilated, the bad news is that things went steadily downhill from there. But that is a story I have told before. Alexander and I came home from the hospital on Christmas Day.

Today was a very mixed day. So quietly happy and so immensely sad for me. Our family tradition is that the birthday person may do whatever they like on their birthday. So the young prince selected his breakfast, lunch and dinner (pizza) and opened one present this morning and will open the rest after dinner and cake. We sat on the couch this morning and went through all of his baby pictures, the cards we got when he was born and the lottery pool that was done by my colleagues to guess the sex of the baby (we didn’t know) and when he was going to be born. He came much earlier than anyone chose.

Happy Birthday Alexander.

Part 2 will come on Tuesday…

This is a special and bittersweet time of year for me. Not so much because of the holidays but because my own baby (who will be turning eleven—yikes!) was born on December 19th. It was 2000 and the Year of the Golden Dragon on the Chinese calendar. A very special year to give birth, especially to a boy. We have a very high Asian population here so we were having lots of babies at that time.

Winter is naturally a time of staying in for me, both literally and figuratively. I feel like the creature who is happy to hibernate. In our home we make lots of fires and eat hot soup and chili. I gave birth a week early to Alexander and brought him home on Christmas Eve. It was a very different sort of holiday. The earth slowed in an amazing way. Day and night became one and it was all good. Cold, dark, rainy outdoors and warm and magical indoors.

Of course we were tired and learning the rhythms of a newborn but there was something extraordinary about that time. What I recall is a sense of quiet that lasted for only a very finite time. I’ll never forget it.

I wish all of you who are giving birth this month and during this season a magical experience of your own.

There are our children’s birthdays and then there are our own and then our loved ones and friends and on and on. There is the time we eagerly anticipate the birth of our children. And then we celebrate their first birthday and then enjoy the excitement of seeing their little friends attend their parties. And there is the 16^th and the 21^st and the 30^th and on and on… for ourselves and for our children.

And there is a time when we thought 30 year olds were “old” and so were our parents. And then we are our parents. Oh my, I have certainly gone off on a tangent here.

So, even though I am not always thrilled at the march of time I feel with each of my own birthdays, as well as Alexander’s, I am so grateful to have people who love me enough to want to celebrate them both. Thank you alI just had a birthday. I could say it was kind of a big birthday but I won’t. It is hard to have a birthday without getting a little pensive about how birthdays are these pretty big days and how they change for us.

There are our children’s birthdays and then there are our own and then our loved ones and friends and on and on. There is the time we eagerly anticipate the birth of our children. And then we celebrate their first birthday and then enjoy the excitement of seeing their little friends attend their parties. And there is the 16^th and the 21^st and the 30^th and on and on… for ourselves and for our children.

And there is a time when we thought 30 year olds were “old” and so were our parents. And then we are our parents. Oh my, I have certainly gone off on a tangent here.

So, even though I am not always thrilled at the march of time I feel with each of my own birthdays, as well as Alexander’s, I am so grateful to have people who love me enough to want to celebrate them both. Thank you all.

Elena and David were expecting their first baby and came in for a labor induction as Elena was well past her due date. I met them in the morning while Elena was just beginning to feel uncomfortable with her contractions. I could tell almost immediately that she and David were going to trust me. We were quickly comfortable with one another and there was lightness in the room. At one point David referred to me as  “Nurse Jackie” (with love of course. I knew we would be fast friends.

We talked about what they could expect from the day, how I could help them navigate her labor and what Elena’s options were for pain relief if she chose to use them. They then fed me David’s grandmother’s cookies and we settled in. Each step of the way, we worked together with ease and a comfort that allowed Elena to trust in her process and in the guidance that I was able to provide her.

It is hard to explain but there is something very special about a relationship that is based solely on trust and not an expectation of what should be. Elena worked very hard and as a team we brought sweet little Emily into the world. All three of us cried (well four actually) very lovely tears of happiness.

Yesterday, Elena and David and Emily came to see me — with more of grandmother’s cookies and hugs and thanks all around. We all cried again. To have an impact. To have made a difference. To have the amazing privilege of hearing, “you helped make this the best day of our lives” – that is something I don’t really have words for. But I’m gonna take it. And hold it very close.

3 a.m the day kindergarten begins... with a "newly repaired" cut off toe!

5 hrs. later for the 1st day of school

This may seem like the wrong time of year to be talking about this, however, it came up recently as I overheard a newly pregnant woman talking with a friend about how she and her husband had planned their pregnancy so that their child would be born before the cut-off date of the kindergarten they were hoping to get into. In 5 years!

I wish this were an isolated incident, but it is not. I have been with numerous women who have wanted to have their labors induced so that they could give birth in time for their child to meet the cut-off! You know that I can’t NOT say something about this.

My Alexander has just turned 10 and is in the 4^th grade. This makes him nearly 6 months older than some of the other kids in his class. This was not an intentional decision. I actually don’t remember what the cut off for entering kindergarten was, I only remember that he was past it. So – it was never an issue of concern for us.

Kindergarten readiness is more important than you may think.  It isn’t only about your child’s age or whether he or she can read or write. It is also about their emotional readiness, their ability to communicate and adapt to new situations.

Tomorrow I’ll talk about why kindergarten readiness is so important and if there are any benefits to delaying when a child begins.

Have something to add ? — please comment below!

Coming Up – Part 2 of 4   Why Is Kindergarten Readiness So Important?

However, in my circle we honor “labor day” in a very different way. Years ago we used to have a bumper sticker in our birthing unit that said “Honor Labor”. It is a perfect play on words.

I haven’t yet mentioned this but I have just gone back to work. This may not seem significant but it is actually quite huge for me. If you have been following along for a while you may remember that shortly before Thanksgiving I slipped down the stairs here at the house and seriously wrecked my shoulder. I had to wait until February to have it repaired due to the swelling and injury.

Because my work is so physical, I really had to be close to 100% before going back. It is not 100% yet but It has been a VERY long and stressful year because of this. Although I have to say that Alexander has thoroughly enjoyed the last few months with me being home. He did NOT like the acute injury and post op time, of course.

The good news about going back to work is that I am so happy to be back and I appreciate it so much. Not that I haven’t always loved it, but I have a new appreciation for the wonderfully grounding effect being able to share in the intimate experience of birth has on me.

I look forward to sharing more with you. Enjoy your official last day of summer.

Sisters: Tori, Denise, Debbie (Kassie missing)

I had a birthday this month – July 9^th. It was a quiet day and that was how I wished it to be. I had a lot of lovely birthday wishes – from my family, others who love me, and friends on FaceBook.

My parents, sister and nephew were visiting here at the lake and being with my own mother on my birthday got me thinking about the details surrounding the day I was born. I was the fifth and last child born into my family. I believe (as I have been told many times) that I was a surprise, as I came 8 years after my sister and 4 years after my brother, who died as an infant.

I asked my mother once again about my birth. I have in the past also but just wanted to hear it again. I have to admit that it strikes me as amazing that most of the people I know, even those who come from very large families, have heard some piece of their births from their own mothers.

Being individuals, this makes perfect sense but when we think about our own mothers and how intense birth actually is, it is hard to imagine that they remember the details of the births of several children.

My birth story includes that my mother demanded that my father buy her an air conditioner when she learned she was pregnant and would be giving birth in July. My best friend’s birth was on a cold, snowy day. My mother believes I was born quickly (which makes sense) as well as the “less than excited” reaction of my three sisters when they learned that I was another girl.

There is no question that birth is profound and incredibly meaningful but I am again reminded that it is quite simply one way that we build our families. There are other ways also, and in the big picture birth is most certainly not the pivotal event. The entrance of a beautiful new being into our lives is.

Men are at highest risk for depression three to six months after the birth of a child, and their depression often corresponds with depression in the mother, the analysis found. “It may be Mom’s depression leading the way; it may be Dad’s depression leading the way; it may have to do with the child’s temperament,” said James Paulson of the Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk, Va., the lead author of the paper, published in the May 19 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association.

The National Women’s Health Information Center offers these suggestions to help both parents cope with postpartum depression:

Try to sleep or rest as much as possible.

Don’t push yourself to be perfect or to do more than is possible.

Ask for help from loved ones.

Make time for yourself.

Talk to your partner and loved ones about what you’re dealing with.

Get together with other new parents to find out what they went through and how they dealt with it.

Join a support group for either new mothers or new fathers.

Avoid making significant life changes during the pregnancy or just after.

Talk to your doctor about whether you may need medication or psychological therapy.

Although mothers are primarily the caretakers of a newborn, dads also can experience sleep deprivation as well as needing to balance work issues and the new responsibilities of being a father. Openly communicating to each other and being gentle can go along way in managing a challenging newborn period.

I felt extremely honored to have been so graciously received here. By design, Sparrow Hospital was the first stop on my 100 Hospital National Tour – promoting “Positive Pregnancy, Positive Birth”. The reason I am doing the tour is to bring awareness that all across the country, women are choosing to give birth “as they desire” in comfortable, supportive, and safe places. Birth centers and hospitals are indeed the safest place to give birth. There is simply no counter argument to the fact that “most of the time, things go well… but when they don’t, they don’t very quickly”.

There has been much celebrity promotion of home birth recently and as I professionally sorted out why this was, it became clear to me that the appeal of home birth, to many, is the inherent fear that a hospital birth cannot, or will not be intimate and personal.

I was received warmly at Sparrow and was hosted by John Lux, the Director of Communications. I spent the better part of an entire day with nurses, physicians, residents, and administrators, as well as meeting the CEO and President of the hospital. What I found at Sparrow was an exceptionally progressive facility with the best of the best in options for women. Options ranging from natural labor to epidurals, VBAC’s (vaginal birth after cesarean), vaginal twin delivery in the labor rooms, rooming in with the baby and exclusive breast-feeding.

Sparrow has a Level 3 Neonatal Intensive Care Nursery (NICU) and is at the forefront of the most current research-driven, evidence – based practice. It is also a Magnet hospital, which means that it has been awarded a status of excellence in nursing care, professionalism and a leadership system that promotes advance practice nursing and nursing satisfaction. This creates a high level of patient satisfaction.

I wish to openly thank all of the people I met at Sparrow for taking time out of their day to meet with me. I have heard repeatedly from those who argue that hospital birth in America today is less optimal than home birth, that because my practice is in a major urban center on the west coast, that my opinions are skewed and that “the rest of the country is not like California”.

I am certainly not naive and know (and will discuss) that not every community offers every option in birth choices. However, clearly in mid-Michigan, women can expect a wonderfully positive pregnancy and birth experience.

I was contacted by these folks a couple of months ago and since I love iPhone apps I thought I would pass these along to you. I haven’t reviewed all 50 but some of them are really great. Enjoy!

Conception

Here is a list of applications that will allow you to follow your body’s cycle and help you know when it’s the right time to conceive.

1. Fertility Friend.com’s Menstrual CalendarThis free iPhone app is a light version of the calendar available at Fertility Friend.com. You enter in your last period and cycle length and the calendar displays your predicted period start days as well as your expected ovulation and most fertile days in color.

2. iPeriodDo you remember the last day of period when the doctor asks? Predict ovulation and fertility while you keep track of your dates.

3. Am I Pregnant Quiz *Wondering if you’re pregnant? Take our quick and easy pregnancy quiz and get a personalized answer in no time. Answer just ten short questions and our quiz will evaluate your chances of pregnancy. Have questions about pregnancy? Check out our detailed Pregnancy FAQ section and find answers to all of your biggest questions.

4. Period & Fertility Calendar If you’re trying to get pregnant, the straightforward fertility icon lets you know instantly when the best time is. You can also record intimacy dates so you can track the best dates for conception.

5. MeFertilThis application tracks a woman’s fertility cycle with an easy-to-read color-coded body graph.  MeFertil also keeps track of medications taken and other fertility relevant information.

6.Early Signs of PregnancyAccess helpful information on the early signs of pregnancy, including tips on how to conceive, pregnancy tests and choices of how to deal with planned and unplanned pregnancy. All information is free, easy to access and private.

7. FemiCycle For women wanting to either become pregnant or avoid a possible pregnancy. It also provides a guide to help increase your chances of conceiving a boy or girl.

8. iFertility Log Unlike other applications, this one helps you manage your weight so that you can also control your fertility. This tool not only works in order to benefit your fertility, but your health over all.

9. Mon.thly.Info This free service charts your menstrual cycle. You input important dates, and this app will predict let you know when your cycle will start again. It will even email you with an alert so you know when to get it going with your significant other.

Due Dates

Whether you love being pregnant or you can’t wait until this baby comes out, these apps will make it easier counting down the days.

10. The Wheel? A gestational age calculator for used by doctors and pregnant women to determine when a baby is due. It can calculate the baby’s gestational age at any stage of pregnancy.

11. Expecting Whether for mommy or daddy to be, this pregnancy tool can help you along the way. It also gives specifics on which month or week or trimester you are in.

12. ’til Baby Provides you with a live countdown of the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until your baby arrives. Your data is saved, so each time you run the application you are quickly provided with the remaining time.

13. Pregnancy Calc This pregnancy calculator estimates your baby’s due date, ovulation time, the end of your 1st and 2nd trimesters and the numbers of weeks along you are on a specified date.

14. My Due Date Imagine you had an assistant to help you follow your follow your baby’s growth. This app allows you to be a part of this amazing and fascinating progress.

Gender

Do you want to know if you’re having a boy or a girl? Find out with a few of these applications that can predict the sex of your baby.

15. Baby Gender Baby Gender is a program that allows you to forecast the gender of the baby based on the biological rhythms of the baby’s parents. This method tries to identify if the male or female chromosomes are stronger at the time of conception based on both parents’ birthdays.

16. Gender Predict Chinese Chart The Chinese had an ancient chart that could predict the unborn baby’s gender based on mom’s date of birth and probable date of conception. This relic chart was sad to be discovered buried in royal tombs hundreds of years ago.

Baby Names

It’s time for you to start thinking of a name for your baby!Get some help with decision to pick the perfect one.

17. My Baby Names Instead of buying a baby name book and using a highlighter, you can always have your database of names with you at all times to show you friends and family, quickly and easily.

18. Baby Namer An easy and different way to search over thousands of baby names. Just give your iPhone a shake a new name in a variety of categories such as popular names for twins.

19. Baby Names – The full list Unlike other applications, you can search for names under other similar names such as Sam, Samantha, and Sampson. There are also origins of the names like Hebrew, Indian, Greek and more.

20. Baby Girl Names A collection of more than 300 baby names for little girls. The interface is simple to use and that randomly displays names after you pick an alphabetical category.

21. Baby Boy Names The same app but for little boy names. This app is good for those moments when you’re in traffic, on a road trip, or hanging out with friends and family.

22. iName Baby Created by a mom to be, this app can randomly pick names from the most popular list of boy or girl names available. You can also email your favorite baby names to yourself, family or friends.

23. Most Baby Names A perfect resource to help you choose the perfect name for your child. This app is over flowing with over 103,000 baby names with origins, variations, and definitions.

24. Fresh Names Baby Produce unique and quirky names by taking parts of current names and reassembling them to make a brand new one.You will spend hours on end reading the wonderful names you have discovered.

Health & Prenatal Care

There is nothing more important than keeping yourself and baby healthy. Let these applications give you the facts and advice you need to be aware of.

25. . iPregnancy Keep track of your pregnancy right along with your doctor once your due date is established. There is even a progress bar that will show you how far you have come from your Current Trimester Time remaining until your due date.

26. A+ Baby Get started on your journey and prepare yourself for the unexpected. Learn about everything from pregnancy weight gain to maternity leave.

27. Fish4Health This application provides advice for pregnant and nursing women, women that are trying to become pregnant, and children in regards to seafood consumption. Women can reduce their mercury intake by selecting seafood wisely.

28. iKegel Kegel is a popular prescribed exercise for pregnant women to prepare the pelvic floor for physiological stresses of the later stages of pregnancy and childbirth. This app serves as a helper to aide you in doing your exercises correctly.

29. Cooking for Pregnant & Lactating Women by Kanchan Kabra A smorgasbord of delicious and nutritious recipes created for women planning a baby, for pregnant women and for lactating ones. Ensure that you get the balanced combination of nutrients needed during your pregnancy and thereafter.

30. Baby Motion Track your baby’s movements during pregnancy easily with this application. Measure how long it takes for your baby to make 10 movements. All data is saved and you can email yourself or your doctor test results.

31. Pregnancy Enter you’re expected due date and get answers on how long you’ve been pregnant and how long you have left in your pregnancy. You can also add notes about things like the first kick, food cravings, and any concerns or worries you might have.

32. Foods to Avoid When Pregnant As long as you have your iPhone with you, you’ll never have to guess about whether a food is safe to eat or not. With easy navigation you can figure out in a minute the safety of any food you’re considering.

33. I’m Pregnant Get weekly updates on your developing baby such as a progress indicator with a percentage to track your overall pregnancy progress, an active color image of your baby’s development, and some common symptoms you might experience throughout your pregnancy.

34. Kicker Counter Allows pregnant mothers to count the number of fetal kicks and other movements in a one hour period of time. A running log tells you the date and time you started each countdown, and the number of kicks you felt during.

35. Pregger Factoidz Download this app to scroll through over 250 pregnancy facts and myths. Topics include everything from swollen fingers to stretch marks.

36. Pregnant Want to know more of what pregnancy entails? Learn more about morning sickness, pain relief, and diet.

Games

Get comfortable, put your feet up, and relax while you play some of these baby games on your iPhone.

37. Babyface This app uses Mendel’s scientific theory of dominant and recessive trait inheritance to automatically determine which parent will give your baby each trait. Amazingly, it then will give you a one of a kind color drawing of your baby that you can save to your iPhone and share with family and friends.

38. Virtual BabyGet a sneak peak at what you will be experiencing when baby comes. From diaper changing to sleepless nights, you’re sure to get a taste of parenthood sure to deliver a smile.

39. Are You Smarter than a Doctor Pregnancy Quiz This quiz was created by a licensed OB & GYN, Dr. Amos Grunebaum. Based on years of experience from answering questions online, this quiz has entertaining as well as educational questions on the major issues of pregnant women.

40. Baby Babble Play with baby and watch & listen to him babble various sounds, in cute, real-time animation technology. Touch baby’s face, hands, belly, and toes for different reactions. It also has a built in recording feature that gives you the ability to record what you want your baby to say back to you.

41. Baby Maker This state of the art application lets you take a picture of you and dad and see what the baby might look like. The results are actual parts of the parent faces that you’ll be sure to spend hours laughing about.

Delivery

The moment is finally approaching. These applications will help you with deciding on delivery, timing contractions and even what to pack in your hospital bag.

42. Contraction Tracker Provides expectant mothers and their coaches a way to track and time contractions during labor. Contractions are timed, recorded and saved, categorized into the separate phases, and graphed on a chart so that you can see whether or not you may be progressing.

43. Bishop’s Score This a pre-labor scoring system that helps predicting whether induction of labor will be required. Patients can use this application to help their doctor decide if labor induction would be a good option.

44. Baby Checklist The Baby Checklist helps you organize the supplies you need for your new baby and lets you keep track of it right on your phone. There are also some helpful hints from experienced moms.

45. Contraction Master Automatically keeps track of the start time, end time, duration, and frequency of each contraction. A simple app that makes logging your time as simple as tapping a button.

46. Maternity A great resource for expectant mothers. Find, ob/gyn’s, midwives and more, all in your area. There is also information on nutrition and proper maternity attire.

47. Baby’s Coming This application will help you keep track of contractions during labor. Make it easier to establish whether the contractions are frequent enough to head to hospital.

48. Birth Buddy A tool to track labor contractions, allowing you to focus on breathing and relaxing, and your partner to focus on you. Your Birth Buddy will also send an email to your care provider, or any curious family members.

49. Labor Mate Labor Mate tracks the data for you and reports the times back in an easy-to-read format. This way you can decide when it is time to call the doctor or head off to the hospital.

50. NineMonths This app can be used by mom or dad. One screen tracks and summarizes everything from contraction start time, to duration, to average interval.