Tori's Blog

Sadness

Saturday, July 25th, 2009

741283_boredom_1We are heading back to California tomorrow—we were planning on staying longer but some important things came up and we are going back quite a bit early. It has been very emotional for Alexander and I to be leaving and has reminded me again as to how we handle change and disappointment with our children. Our job as parents is frequently to help them deal with their own emotions of sadness, anger and disappointment, either large or small.

But we are also faced with helping them navigate the times when we – their parents – have our own struggles with theses emotions. I know it can feel impossible to stay present for our children during those times. I have a very intuitive little boy so he knows when anything is up with me. It has been really tough these last couple of days explaining to him that right now it is important for mom to be back in California. And that I, too, am very, very sad to be leaving our special place.

Kids shouldn’t be made to take on their parent’s feelings. I believe it is one of our responsibilities. For Alexander, it is especially hard. What we went through when Ray died has made him very alert and sensitive to even a change in the pitch of my voice. I have made so many mistakes; anyone honest will say that they have as well. And I think there is much that I have not handled well at all. But I keep trying. We navigate together and sometimes we do it just seconds or one minute at a time. And sometimes that is just enough.

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