My Personal Reinvention: Part 2 (of 3)Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
Sunday – 12 noon:
I am sitting on a US Airways flight taking a trip that I have cancelled and rescheduled 3 times in the last 6 days, twice being in the last 8 hours (yes, you can kind of do that with Orbitz). I readily admit that I do carry a true “lack of advance planning” gene when it comes to travel but this has set a new record even for me.
To add to this adventure, this morning I drove halfway to the WRONG airport before realizing it. The only reason I did not end up in San Francisco instead of Oakland was that I had listened to my cell phone messages in the car and there was one from the airlines confirming both the flight AND the airport. Swung the car around and drove 20 miles back towards home to go over the other bridge. Distracted? Yea. Just a little.
This was all received with guarded amusement by our Czech sitter, Tom and with sheer delight by my eight-year-old, Alexander. Tom has witnessed more times than I’d like to admit, what kind of tornado happens when I am late for a plane. He balances that quite nicely by quietly asking what would be helpful for him to do which generally involves physically catching some additional item and stuffing it into my “she who does not travel lightly” suitcase.
Alexander finds great humor in the fact that his mother is generally less predictable and quite likely less balanced than other mothers he has come to know. Looking up from playing “Pocket God” on my iPhone as I whipped the car around, he interjected with “That would have really been a screw up, Mom. Darn it- you would have had to put $5.00 in the jar cause you know you would have said bad words and cried.” Nice to know he has his mother pegged.
So here I go on this 3 day trip. A trip where I intend to mostly sit in a room alone (perhaps one of 2 rooms) and re-invent myself. Lay it all out on the table, (and I am sure the floor and the bed also), both literally and figuratively, — the realities of where I am today. Gingerly pull those little buggers apart, really look at them, do the math, figure the odds, research the options. Stop wishing anything were different. Allow myself be scared, do the hard work. Say my prayers and then listen. Really listen. And be very brave. I have been brave before. Then rip apart whatever needs ripping apart, put it back together, — maybe even put something together for the first time. Maybe I will sleep – maybe not. It is hard to know. I have work to do.