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Please take a look at my Postpartum Depression Video
Feeling blue, overwhelmed, crying often, and not being sure whether being a mom is the right thing for you is very, very normal for a new mom (or dad). Sleepless nights, the joys and challenges of a new baby, and your own hormonal changes can make any completely normal woman feel like a “psycho”. Finding and connecting with other new parents can be a tremendous help. Oftentimes local hospitals or community centers have new moms (or new parents) support groups. If you attended childbirth preparation classes, your instructor may have some suggestions. These are generally free. In my experience talking to someone about how you feel is the most helpful thing you can do for yourself.
If you feel so blue or depressed that you cannot get out of bed in the morning or really are unable to care for yourself or your child, it is more important than anything is you may ever do, to actually seek professional help. For starters, call your doctor or midwife and tell them honestly how you are feeling. If you truly are feeling frightened or overwhelmed it is important to not minimize these feelings to those who can help you. Many professionals offer “sliding” fees, which can offset the costs. There also are public resources at little or no cost.
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My fiances cousin has shingles, and shes told me to stay away from her. But its hard, we live in the same house but in the basement. So obviously she touches door knobs and light switches and such. Can I catch this easy? I’ve been trying not to touch things with my hands and when I touch something I use hand sanitizer after wards. Just worried because of being pregnant.
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I had twin girls four years ago. I was told they were in separate sacks and therefore, not identical. Once they were born, the doctor said they might be identical because they have the same blood type. Is there any way to know for sure if they are identical or fraternal? Please help, I get asked all the time if they are identical and don’t know what to answer.
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Thanks for your question. The fact that twins are identical or fraternal is not determined by whether or not they share the same amniotic sac. Identical twins occur when one egg divides into two, resulting in the babies have the same, identical genetic makeup. Fraternal twins occur when two separate eggs are fertilized.
In utero, 90% of “identical” twins actually have two separate amniotic sacs. It is extremely rare and quite dangerous for identical twins to share one sac. There is a high risk of the two babies’ umbilical cords entangling at some point during the pregnancy.
Your girls could indeed be identical twins, especially if they look a great deal alike. That they share the same blood type isn’t an indication either, as it is quite common for siblings within any family to have the same blood type. The only way to know for certain is to have them genetically tested. Your pediatrician will be able to help you learn how to do that and the costs involved.
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Sally –
Yes, it is very normal to have periods of dizziness and or feelings of faintness, during pregnancy, especially during the early weeks. Your blood pressure tends to be lower during pregnancy and this is the cause of the faintness you are experiencing. It is important not to stand for long stretches of time or to get up too quickly after you have been sitting or lying down. This moves blood away from your brain, which results in your feeling lightheaded. Two great habits to adopt are; 1.) to roll onto your side before rising out of bed, 2.) when standing for periods of time, bend your knees often. This helps to keep your blood circulating well.If you are feeling dizzy or lightheaded, it is best to sit down and put your head between your knees. This helps blood to move up into your head, making you feel better. The good news is that this usually passes in the second trimester.
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Hi Tori,
A friend gave me your book and I am really enjoying reading it. I also love your blog.
I am 8 weeks pregnant and since I have been hearing so much in the news these days about breast cancer, I really want to be sure that I take care of myself. I am a little confused about whether or not I should do them even though I am pregnant. I see a doctor at a clinic and I am not really comfortable asking these detailed questions of my doctor. I am also not sure if I am doing it right–is there a certain way to do it? Please help!
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Congratulations and I am so happy to have you here!
Good for you that you are taking the initiative to take care of your body and your health. The answer to your question about whether or not you should be examining your breasts, even though you are pregnant is yes, yes, yes. It is also very important to feel comfortable enough with your practitioner to ask all your questions, understand your care and have your questions answered. You may want to see if your clinic has a nurse practitioner that you may feel more comfortable talking with.
When you are not pregnant, the best time to perform a self-breast exam is after your period is over when your breasts are less likely to be tender or lumpy. During pregnancy, you can simply choose a day of the month as your “breast check day”. It is rare but possible to develop breast cancer and/or for the hormones of pregnancy to accelerate cancer during pregnancy. Therefore, it is very important to continue with your breast health activities throughout your entire pregnancy.
There is no special or magic way to examine your breasts. The important thing is to get a good sense of what your own body feels like. Then you will know if something feels different or has visually changed. Many women examine their breasts while standing in the shower, although you could also sit or lie down.
You should first look at your breast in a mirror, both with your hands at your side and then behind your head. Look for any dimples or abnormalities in shape. Next, you will want to feel your breasts in either a circular motion or in an up and down motion for any lumps. Squeeze the nipples of each breast slightly to check for any discharge. Once you do this a couple of times, you will feel more familiar with your own breasts. Be sure to let your doctor know of any lump or suspicious area that you find. It may be perfectly normal but is best to have checked out.
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What Is An Sonogram?
Sonograms, also called ultrasounds, refer to high frequency sound waves. When these sound waves hit a dense mass, tissue or fluid, they produce echoes, which bounce back to a receiver. The receiver then translates these into a signal that converts to either sound (fetal heartbeat) or an image.
Ultrasound technology is used during pregnancy for the familiar fetal “scan”, to listen to the baby’s heartbeat (Doppler) and for electronic fetal monitoring during labor.
The most common reasons it is used are:
Confirming a pregnancy and checking for twins or more
Estimating gestational age
Checking fetal growth
Checking the well being of the baby – including blood flow to and from the placenta, as well as how much amniotic fluid is around the baby.
Diagnosing a miscarriage, bleeding and fetal or placental abnormalities.
Confirming the position of the baby for procedures such as an amniocentesis or turning the baby from a breech position to head down (external cephalic version).Are They Safe?
It has been over 40 years since ultrasound was first used on pregnant women. Although some harmful effects in cells have been observed in a laboratory setting, abnormalities in embryos and the offspring of animals and humans have not been demonstrated.Apparent ill effects such as low birth weight, speech and hearing problems, brain damage and non-right-handedness reported in small studies have not been confirmed or substantiated in larger studies from Europe. The studies were not adequately performed or large enough to show actual validity.
Of course, it remains important for scientists to continue to study the effects of this technology. Ultrasounds are considered to be a very safe method of providing valuable information during pregnancy. There is no indication that they are harmful or affect the baby in any way.
In some areas, women can even choose to see their babies in 3-D or 4-D color scans. Sometimes these sonograms are offered in non-medical settings that are set up very much like photography studios. Personally and professionally, I have mixed feelings about having an ultrasound merely for a photo or video of the baby. I think it is sensible to have one only as needed, and recommended by your care provider.
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Omega-3 fatty acids, docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), are essential nutrients for optimal fetal and infant neurodevelopment. A recent study has shown that deficiencies of these in pregnancy increase the baby’s risk of developmental delays in communication, fine motor, and social skills. The richest sources of omega-3 fatty acids are oily fish. However, many fish rich in these fatty acids also contain dangerous pollutants such as mercury, a neurotoxin. There is much controversy over how much fish women can safely eat during pregnancy without exposing their babies to too much neurotoxin. Omega-3 fatty acids are found in pumpkin and flax seeds, but in much lower levels than in oily fish. High-quality omega-3 supplements may be a good alternative. Discuss these with you practitioner.
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You are not alone! A man’s discovery that he is going to be a father brings up many emotions. In addition to being happy, you have new concerns. You may be worried about the health and safety of your wife and baby, the responsibilities of parenthood, household finances, changes in your lifestyle, and much more. Things that you have never worried about before may suddenly seem like looming problems. The enormous scope of fatherhood is often underestimated. Many men experience physical symptoms of anxiety as they adjust to their new role. The good news is that your anxiety will very likely pass. In the meantime, share your feelings with your wife or a close friend. If you find that you are continuing to worry, talk with your doctor about how you feel.
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Blue cohosh, or Caulophyllum thalictroides, is also sometimes called blueberry root, papoose root, squawroot, yellow ginseng, blue ginseng, or beech drops. Harvested in wooded areas of eastern North America, the root was originally used by Native Americans as a uterine stimulant. It is used in various forms to induce labor contractions. In my experience, blue cohosh can indeed cause uterine contractions, but it does not necessarily initiate labor. It can also have the unpleasant side effects of diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, and abdominal cramping.
Like other medicines, herbal remedies can be very powerful. It is very important to talk with your midwife or doctor before taking any medicinal herb.
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My doctor’s nurse phoned this week to ask if I knew that my blood type was Rh-negative. I had been told this years ago but had forgotten about it. The nurse said that if my husband is also Rh-negative (we will find out this week), I have nothing to worry about. If he is not, I have to receive a shot at 28 weeks. Can you please explain why this is necessary?
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Mary,
Rh factor, or Rh antigen, is a substance present by heredity in the blood of most people. Only 15 percent of us lack Rh factor, or have Rh-negative blood. Years ago, babies often died from what was known as Rh incompatibility, or rhesus disease. Today, we can prevent this from happening. If both you and your husband have Rh-negative blood, then the baby will also have this blood type, and no treatment is needed. If, however, your blood is Rh-negative and your husband’s is Rh-positive, the baby may have Rh-positive blood. In this case, your body could begin producing antibodies to your baby’s red blood cells. If you have never been pregnant before, your baby would be unaffected by these antibodies. They would remain dormant and harmless unless you became pregnant again. Then, if your baby were Rh-positive, the antibodies could cross the placenta and attack the baby’s red blood cells. This could cause anemia and mild to severe jaundice in the baby. To prevent this problem, an Rh-negative mother with an Rh-positive partner receives a shot of Rh immune globulin, or RhoGAM, at 28 weeks of pregnancy and again within 72 hours of giving birth. Rh immune globulin is also given to an Rh-negative woman after a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, or an induced abortion, and at the time of amniocentesis, CVS, or another invasive procedure during pregnancy. A shot of RhoGAM should be considered, too, if an Rh-negative woman experiences any significant bleeding or blunt trauma, such as from a car accident or fall, while she is pregnant. This kind of injury can also cause Rh sensitization.
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About Tori Kropp
Known as "the Dear Abby of pregnancy," Tori has been interviewed on national television and radio and in national print publications, including CNN, The Wall Street Journal, New York Post, Washington Times, Atlanta Journal Constitution and Chicago Sun-Times.
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Ask Your Question
Dear Tori,
Everything I read which addresses postpartum depression says that you should seek professional help. Is there anything else a mother can do besides act like a “psycho”? I’m not sure if this is my problem, but I have no way of finding out or discussing it with anyone, unless I spend $100/hr or more. Help!